- Revise your stories, based on all peer feedback. Finals due in class next time.
- Blog #3: like before, post a piece of feedback that your partner gave you, either praise or criticism about the setting, and explain how it helped you to revise your piece.
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
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ReplyDeleteOne very helpful piece of feedback was that I was so focused on describing the symbols that I didn’t provide enough information about the setting itself. My story is centered around building a bed (the bed is the main symbol, and the materials that the character uses are sub-symbols), and while the imagery of the bed was vivid, the imagery of the woodshop was not. So I included more details about the space in which the main character is building; now, I’ve defined the items surrounding my character, and more clearly described the room’s size, colors, etc.
ReplyDeleteOne of the compliments was also extremely useful—“I really like how you use [the main character]’s obsession with order to highlight how her life is much less orderly.” I had only written about her obsession with order in one line, but because of the compliment, I realized that this characteristic was much more central to her identity than I had previously thought. As a result, I highlighted the topic of orderliness when adding in my setting description, with the goal of conveying a second message about the character.
In my draft I made my story kinda of a list to show what the character goes through. One of my members said that the bulleted list was a really good way to show the feeling of someone taking the train. So it was helpful for me because I was able to feel better of the way my story was set up.
ReplyDeleteHelpful feedback for my story was praise for my usage of strong metaphors throughout. However, critiques mostly revolved around too much focus on narration, and not enough on the more important setting. Without vivid descriptions of the setting, it makes it more difficult for the reader to visualize the story.
ReplyDeleteOne of the complitments I got about my story was that the writing was really nice and that the story structure fit the actual charter perfectly. I was also told that it was really clear what the true nature of my person was through their thoughts and the setting. This helped me because it reassured me that I wasn't too obvious but it also wan't completely confusing. Now I also feel more confident to add more setting details to my story.
ReplyDeleteA helpful comment I received was "I loved your use of rain in the first part of the story. That opened my mind up and made me start to visualize the scenery you narrate. The flowers, were a great touch. They added something bittersweet and dull, and you displayed that theme really nicely. " . This comment helped me revise because it was very specific and inspired me to add focus on nature more in the piece to contrast the theme of mortality. It also made me think more of the symbols I already had and how I could develop them further.
ReplyDeleteMainly just work on my commas, to help the flow also stick to 2nd person narration, sometimes I put the word "I" in my story. However my paper was overflowing with positive feedback and this astonished me.
ReplyDeleteA very helpful critique on my writing was "situational setting." I realized that I would unseemly place a setting description in my story. I surmised that I my placing of setting was disrupting the flow of my story. So for my revisions I need to insert setting description sentences in more organic places.
ReplyDeleteA comment I received was "such good imagery it allows you to really picture it and see how isolated this person is". This comment was helpful, along with the other comments i received because then i was able able to verify that i am on the right track and the person can see visually the map i am trying to design.
ReplyDeleteOne comment I recieved that was specifically helpful was to incorporate more metaphors and similies into my writing, which overall helped me make my writing more descriptive and symbolic.
ReplyDeleteI received a compliment on the lyrical and descriptive language of my short story. This comment was specifically helpful, because, in trying to write a piece through setting, good description is key. The comment was helpful in letting me know I was on the right track while also giving me a push to expand on my descriptive writing.
ReplyDeleteA piece of advice that I found particularly helpful was the suggestion that I should focus more on descriptive setting. The narration built up a progressive plot but the setting seemed a little vague. The suggestion was that I should move away from the characters that I choose to describe and move towards the interior of the train which is the setting to my story.
ReplyDeleteA piece of feedback that I got that was helpful in revising my story was that with listing movement my character takes within the setting, I should add in where that person is going and make it symbolic and meaningful to the character, instead of writing "she went to the store." This helps a lot, because I have a hard time with describing the setting, mostly the climax along with a very dry description of the character's surroundings. On the other hand, that was the only critique I got cause I had a nice group:)
ReplyDeletewhen I read my story to my group it didn't seem to be as setting based as I thought it was so after I saw their pictures and listened to the confusion and went with a different direction and I feel there is much more setting based ideas and more symbolism then before.
ReplyDeleteMy story was very setting based, but my group told me I could use more detail and a little bit more background information because it was a little hard to understand. I should add more symbolic things instead of describing the symbols in my story through my words. I could also go into my characters minds a little more. However, I am focusing on keeping my story short and condensed because I think its simplicity adds to its setting.
ReplyDeleteOne comment I received was to put more doctors into my story, which does make sense as it is in a hospital. I go in depth with the the caretakers and the visitors - but not the doctors which is something I definitely should do.
ReplyDeleteMy peers praised my story because it had a lot of symbolism with the character's struggle. It needed more powerful writing techniques- more show less tell. It helped me expand my ideas an include more feelings for the character by breaking the fourth wall.
ReplyDeleteOne of the comments I received is that I should include more of his surroundings in description instead of just saying what he does. What I did to fix this is I integrated both in a way that each surrounding had their own personal connection to him and carried the story forward.
ReplyDelete